Satan tries to kill Tom Roe; God has other plans

We don’t know why bad things happen to good people other than to say that we live on a fallen Earth, and we all are waiting for God to send his son Jesus back to take us home. We desperately look forward to the new Earth that will come after this old one passes away, an Earth where God and man are together as it was meant to be. This blog entry is about faith, and hope, and the constant vigil of the children of light. If this blesses you, please pass it along and show others the faithfulness of our Father God in Heaven. God bless all those who read this, and give them confidence that your Holy Spirit is working in our lives and can turn things which Satan means for evil into wondrous works that demonstrate Your glory. Praise the Lord!

I have no memory of the twelve days that follow... On the 1st of June, 2008, my wife Robin discovered me in an incoherent state in our bed. She called my dad for help, and he and my brother-in-law, tried to get me to a car so they could take me to the emergency room (ER), but I was not cooperative enough to make this possible, so an ambulance was called and they rushed me to the hospital.

It was very late, and the emergency waiting room was empty. This was a good thing because the entire ER staff was needed to hold me down so they could attach the devices necessary to stabilize me and run needed tests. It was said by some of the staff that I tossed them around like rag dolls. This is definitely not my character, and I can only presume that in that state, my subconscious was attempting to fight off what I felt was a spiritual attack. My family spoke of how I was calling out to God for His help in my delirium. The ER staff thought that I must be on something that made me strong; this was proved to be false by the tox-screen results. They asked why I was so strong and my family told them it was yoga. My wife Robin is an instructor of yoga and she teaches it from a Christian perspective. The doctors were worried because I seemed to be having seizures, and they thought that maybe I had had a prolonged seizure before my wife found me that night; there was concern about permanent brain damage. They moved me to the ICU at Lake Cumberland Regional Hospital (LCRH), and while Robin was watching me struggle against the restraints, she worried, and prayed. Then she heard the sound of a loud exhaled breath near her ear and in her spirit she knew this was an angelic presence. She knew that God was preparing her for a difficult time ahead, but wanted her to know that His angels were there, and the Holy Spirit was watching over her husband. In simpler terms, He was saying, "Prepare yourself."

No information was gained about the cause of my condition at LCRH, so they called Lexington, Kentucky's University Hospital. It was determined that my case was “interesting” and they made a bed available in the ICU for me. This word “interesting” generally does not bode well for the patient. In spite of this Robin and my family prepared for the best, not the worst that could happen. Due to bad weather, I was taken there by ambulance by the next day.

A little background may be helpful here. Things were going well for us after two and a half years of mostly unemployment for me, I had gotten a good job as a technical writer in my home town, and things were looking good for our financial future again. My oldest daughter had set a date for her wedding and we were looking forward to that coming to pass in a few weeks. My dad was going to perform the ceremony and all was right with the world. Now, I can tell you what I think happened to me, but after more than 1,000 tests, not even the doctors (there were many) know for sure. I was working for two weeks prior to this on my yard, nearly an acre that I had let get a bit out of hand over the previous years. I spent most of my free time bagging three-year-old leaves and clearing overgrown brush. While clearing, I was frequently dusted with some pretty old, and moldy, debris. I’m not one to get sick; before this situation I hadn’t been to see a doctor since 1989. So I was surprised when the lymph nodes on my left shoulder and neck began to swell up. This continued for a couple of weeks, and I just presumed my body would fight it off and things would return to normal. These were the last two weeks of May, and that brings us up to date.

Back to the Lexington hospital, after a few days of trying to get my symptoms under control, washing my system with lots of drugs including every type of anti-biotic, they had damaged my Kidney’s in the process. I was not responding well, and x-rays showed my lungs filling with infection, so they performed a surgery on my shoulder/neck area to remove the infection that had grown there. They warned my family, specifically Robin and my mom, about the possibility that it may be cancer, and they responded exactly the way I’d expect them to, “I rebuke that in the name of Jesus, he does not have cancer.” The doctor said that they needed to prepare for the worse. My mom said that it wasn’t necessary to prepare for the worst because they were preparing for the best, and God was going to heal their son.

Meanwhile, my church, Victory Christian Fellowship, was alerted to my condition, and they prayed. This is a large church, and they have connections to many other churches around the country and even the world. This prayer turned into a chain of emails that caused other churches to put me on their prayer lists, and this became a dramatic move of God on his people to intervene on my behalf. I can’t even describe the emotion writing about this brings up in my spirit; I’m so blessed by it. Every time I think about it, tears well up and my spirit is overwhelmed. I’m so unworthy of this love God has given me, but so thankful, as is my family. Everyone’s plans had changed, my daughter decided to put off her wedding until her father could walk her down the isle. My two youngest daughters were staying with their grandmother in another town, and all of my family had put off any personal plans, and instead spend a lot of time with my wonderful wife in Lexington as she sat beside me day after day while I was in a coma. She prayed for me, read to me, and sang to me while my body rested. I know it's what is expected, but I can't imagine what it was like to have that kind of faith, believing that I would come out of this thing. She told me later that after a particularly bad day, she went to the waiting room, which surprisingly was empty and just collapsed into the middle of the floor crying. The attendee there asked if he could do anything, and she said that she needed her husband to come back to her; she needed me to be normal and my brain to be like it was; her children needed their father back.

After one week in the ICU, my dad put his hand on my chest and prayed, “God, I only want one thing for Father’s Day; I want my son back.” This prayer was followed by another bad week. I constantly moved from a little better to much worse. Robin told me about one nurse in the ICU who got close to me and spoke in my ear that she was praying for me to have peace, because unless I had a peaceful night they could not take me off the respirator. That night I slept in peace.

The next morning was the Saturday before Father’s Day, the 12th of June. My eyes opened and I saw my mother’s face staring at me. I heard my dad say, “Do you recognize her?” I couldn’t speak because of the tubes, but nodded in agreement. He then asked if I recognized him, and I agreed. Everyone had been concerned about my memory, so he continued with a question about me remembering my sister, Lori. I gave a puzzled expression and shook my head. Later they were telling everyone about my awakening, and he told Lori that she should prepare herself because I didn’t remember her when he asked me, I didn't mean for this to happen, I was just joking, but he didn’t understand that. As far as I was concerned it was the next day, I didn’t realize that I had been unconscious for nearly two weeks.

Later that day, still Saturday, I asked Robin what had happened to me, and she said it was a long story. Many people wonder what I saw while I was unconscious and all I can say is I have no memory of that time. The folks that sat beside me, praying, singing, and reading to me probably can answer that question easier, because they saw the turmoil my body was in, and I can only presume that my spirit was in a battle. They watched helplessly as I drifted from calm to torment, and they prayed.

The following Sunday, Father’s Day, my church heard the announcement that I was awake and recovering, and they cheered. My younger sister Crissy, always the baby of the family but now a mother of three boys, seemed a bit dismayed at the attention I was getting. She said it was like the movie, “It’s a wonderful life” times ten. I was simply blessed beyond words by it all. You wonder if your life has meant anything to those around you, and it’s times like these when you discover the value others place on your life, possibly a value far greater than you ever placed on yourself. The same can be said for the company I had started working for just a few weeks before the sickness hit me; they were also very concerned with my well being and lifted me up in prayer.

A quick rundown of the following days will help illustrate the wonder of my miraculous healing. Sunday, the tubes were removed, and I was moved to a regular room out of the ICU. While alone, I attempted to stand; my legs had no strength, and I fell like a stone to the floor. It seemed like a long time passed as I attempted to put my legs beneath me and stand, but to no avail. I also tried to use my arms to pull myself up, but finally had to call for help. Just two weeks before I was so strong, but now… In my mind I said, “God, I can’t start over. I’m the only income my family has. I need to work. I need to walk!”

Time seemed to move slowly, what felt like days were simply hours passing, and I got very little rest. The drugs they had me on distorted my subconscious thoughts and it was during the next two days that I saw glimpses of the battle I had had in the spiritual plane that surrounds us. The images I saw during short spans of sleep still haunt me today, and I’ll have to write that down some day when I’m able to make sense of it. Every time I closed my eyes, even while awake, I saw psychedelic imagery that made it very hard to rest; dark, disturbing images.

That evening the possibility of what lay ahead confronted me as doctors and therapists told me of how long it would take for me to walk again on my own, and how my kidneys were near the stage where I may have to have dialysis. A therapist arrived and spoke with me about my inability to stand or walk. After my first attempt, I was very disturbed about the thought of standing, but the physical therapist (PT) insisted that I try and with the help of two male attendees I stood, though, I didn’t feel very strong. I wanted Robin to work with me to help me walk, but the PT explained that there was big difference between a PT and a yoga instructor and I would need at least three days of intense therapy to get my legs moving again.

Monday morning I got some positive results from blood work that said my kidney’s were heading back toward normal. A rating of 8.0 signifies that I would need regular dialysis, and a rating of 1.0 is normal. After the damage done by the medication, I needed dialysis just to survive while in a coma, but the third time they performed dialysis they stopped it because I seemed to be improving. By this day, Monday, my kidneys were at a 5.6, and were improving by about one and a half points per day; I knew God was healing them.

That evening Robin said she didn't believe that the extensive PT was necessary and we agreed that God would repair my muscles and bones and give me the strength I needed to walk. Robin began working with me and I was standing with the help of the walker and doing leg exercises and simple stretches to prepare to walk. My head was swimming, but I was able to stand without assistance.

By Tuesday, my daughter had decided to have a small ceremony there in the hospital chapel, and my wife and I were determined that I would be able to walk her down that aisle. We would still have a regular ceremony several weeks later the way it was originally planned, but due to honeymoon plans that could not be refunded or changed, it was important to get them married that week. The doctors kept coming back with new potential problems that I might suffer, and when they did, I would ask Robin or another family member to pray with me about it and believed that God would correct the problem so my healing and my return home would not be delayed. Keep in mind that in more than 1,000 tests, one doctor described it as every test known to man; nothing had been found wrong with me. No disease was found, just those symptoms which could not be explained. We could not rely on their knowledge because they didn’t know what was wrong with me and their only course of action was more tests, which now included a desire to re-test for things that I had already been tested for.

By Tuesday afternoon, they removed my catheter and that freed me to move more and Robin walked up and down the hallways with me helping me to get my strength and confidence back. By that evening, I was carrying my walker.

I had tubes coming out of my neck where they had performed dialysis during my coma state, but so far I hadn’t needed further treatments because my kidneys were rapidly recovering. By Wednesday afternoon, they removed those tubes, and I was able to shower and prepare for my daughter’s chapel wedding that afternoon. Quite a few family members were able to make it for the ceremony including my other two lovely daughters. It was amazing, and I did walk Iliea down the aisle and gave her away to Chris Jones, a wonderful young man and a welcome addition to our family.

By Thursday, I was determined to leave, and had packed all my things in preparation for that event. The doctors were amazed at my rapid recovery and I know that, some of them at least, knew that they had witnessed a miracle. By noon that day I was getting in our van and we were praising God while Robin drove us home.

The following Sunday, Robin and I stood before my church congregation and proclaimed God’s glory, and thanked the faithful prayer warriors there for their intervention and my wonderful family for being beside me. Robin spoke as well and blessed me with her faith and the boldness of her testimony about what God had done.

With great thanks, your servant, Tom.